Just thought i'd stop in...

Just thought I'd stop in and find a place to sit down, have a virtual smoke and look for an interesting conversation to come my way. So I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself, my name is Slade and I'll be popping in from time to time. Later.

 

Hello, slade!

Nice to meet You there! :beer:

Hope that You will enjoy this place ... this place is beautiful ... even if Prox is there ... :nod:

 

Hello Slade

Welcome to Alien Soup. Hope to be reading many of your posts.

 

Hello Slade! Hope you enjoy the site sweetie! :shake:

 

Hello there, Miss Ripley. I just want to say what a pleasant feeling it is to be sharing web space with such a personable, bubbly, and positively charming Hoosier individual as yourself. It's largely an unfathomable mystery how we both ended up here on the same cyber turf what with me being a wretched slimey green three-toed amorous alien and you being an attractive winsome humanoid donut dolly person and all, but sometimes stranger things happen and nobody really knows exactly how or why I guess. I know this is the 17th time today you've heard me say this, but, yeppers, it's probe time again. Are you ready?

 

:rotflmao:

 

Why Schizy, You really know how to get to a girls heart. :embarass: Your overwhelming compliments make me want to up my appointment. Your such the charmer. I'm so glad your finally admiting your an alien though. I think I knew it in my heart of hearts all along. You have welcomed me to your exam table, with open tentacles. I think I may need a double treatment this time....if you can handle it. :tongue:

 

It just so happens I have an opening tomorrow morning at 8 A.M., Ripley, and I shall run along right now and get the probe room ready. Was the hard cold metallic probing table frigid enough last time or do we need to lower the temp a few more degree notches? Discomfort is of the utmost importance during a long drawn out extended probe session don't you agree? But once you get used to the unbearable pain, it actually starts to feel good, or so I've been told.

Yes..I am in fact an a-l-i-e-n. You are so perceptive and understanding as well. Most female humans are immediately repulsed at the sight of my loooooonnng tentacles with the translucent suction cup tentacletips, but you never let on like anything was out of the ordinary, even when I inadvertantly left those naughty suction hickies on your forehead. I do apologize. It won't happen again I promise. I do tend to take my job a tad too serious sometimes. I wish all abductees could be as nice and cooperative as you are. Don't forget to wear that sexy green Miss telletubbe outfit I Fed-Ex'd you yesterday.

 

I knew deep down inside you were an alien schizander. When did you grow tententacles with the translucent suction cup tentacletips?

You must not be the alien I knew before then. For this alien didn't have tententacles...just big ears and a very long tail. Although not that long it dragged on the ground... :lol:

 

I think I can handle having the table lowered a few more degrees. It makes the experience just that more intense. I also think the straps that bound my wrists and ankles need to be tighter. I almost wiggled free when I saw the size of your probe! You sure weren't mistaken about this size. No matter how you measure it, its a healthy ghirken.

I had to use several layers of cover up to hide the tenticle hickies, but thats ok. It was worth the small price I had to pay. Your truely an artist at what you do dear Schizy! I think its time we introduced Rosey to your probing ways. She is my friend, and I wouldn't want her to miss out on this opportunity.

 

Yes, it is getting pretty deep in here isn't it? That's always the case with aliens, Rose. As a general rule we aliens are full of it. I'm sorry if elongated tentacles with hairy rubbery-skinned suction cups that exude copious amounts of sticky slime doesn't appeal to you, but they do come in handy come probe time, and most abductees seem to like them (e.g. Ripley).

Obviously I am not the same type of alien which you were formerly acquainted with, as I do not have big stupid looking ears or a long bothersome tail, but I do have other attributes and appendages which make me stand out in a crowd. But enough about myself....I think it's about time you signed up to sponsor one or more homeless alien orphans don't you? Wouldn't the pitter patter of little alien footsies make your home life a lot more enjoyable? Sure it would.

 

Consider it done, Rip. But enough about the sporadic ins and outs of probing. Probing and pickling are just two tiny cogs in the huge rotating wheel of alien fortune. I think the time has come for you and Rosebud (and any other lucky female reading this) to become more involved with actively promoting the reproductive proliferation and gradual assimilation of aliens into human society don't you? You can do this by either adopting an alien orphan, or you can volunteer to become a surrogate mother and experience the joy of alien motherhood firsthand...or both.

You see, Rip...alien babies are probably 10 times more cuddly than human ones, and the average cute little green alien kid is much much more fun than the whimpering sniveling helpless human variety. And just think about it...you'll be getting in on the ground floor of a completely new frontier in the profoundly infinite and diverse variations on the alien/humanoid genotype. I can't promise you anything definitive here, but maybe....just maybe...I will also be able to swing you a guest appearance on Oprah or Dr. Phil ...after you've become one of the planet's first hybrid moms of course.

 

Doctor You are dully informed that "nihil obstat" granted by the Übermensch of vega system has been officially withdrawn. You are here by ordered to cease and desist all probing by either manual or automated means.

All translucent suction cups and tentacletips are to be retracted and placed in stand by mode. Pickles are to be disassembled stowed away and all pickles must be disassembled or inverted.

You are here by ordered to comply with these directives ASAP.

 

I have received no such official notice from the Ubermensch which forbids probing and pickle therapy. Obviously this is simply yet another unscrupulous attempt on your part to disrupt and delay our all important ongoing probe program here at alien soup. I also suspect you have some selfish ulterior motives as well for this sham. It won't work. As pickle certified alien sympathizers, both Ripley and Rose are entitled to free probe and pickle sessions as well as repressed abduction memory retrieval therapy.

Posting erroneous, confusing, and or misleading information is a serious violation of Ubermensch regulations and guidelines. May I suggest you seek gainful employment at a remote location in the South or Midwest which better suits your resume' and previous job experience...like for example being a highly personable Walmart Greeter. I understand there is currently an opening for such a position at store # 347 located in Florence, Alabama. You will however be required to relocate.

 

Schizy, this Sentinel person is getting me worried! Is he really going to shut you down? Where will I go for my therapy? Is he just trying to take over your position? I don't know what I would do without you Schizy....I mean we only just got started with my treatments. I'm afraid Schizy!

I'll be over there as soon as I can get changed. I'm wearing that special little number you bought me last week. I really enjoy playing dress up for you. I hope you like it as much as I do. I've made a new recipe for cookies...sugar cookies with slimey green snot frosting. They are delicious! I hope they please you.

 

Ok the only person who issues welcoming probes around here is me, the man with the splintery probe. After the initial welcome, you are free to do what ever you want on your own time, but I should warn you, only aliens who reach the level of prober are allowed to issue official probings, so beware of imitation probers.

Oh and welcome to our insanity, you have now been officialy probed.

 

Well I have been here for awhile Prox..and I do not get probed. I will side with aliens and become their friends, but to be probed is out of the question.


Schizander I would love to take care of an alien baby. If as time goes by that you have picked more than one child while you have been on this planet, then I would consider opening up a nursery on your space ship. I would be glad to be in charge of that department. Is there a alien child that needs to be adopted now?

 

Not to worry, Ripley. Sentinel is simply making yet another of his unauthorized and unreasonable demands which he cannot enforce because he has no authority or influence here in alien soup or elsewhere, nor is he certified, licensed, or trained in the fine art of probing. This is typical behavior from lower echelon humanoid government bureacrats and other meddlesome troublemakers who are seeking to drive a wedge between nice submissive abductees like you and their alien mentors.

Your much needed therapy sessions will continue in spite of Sentinel's empty threats and pompous bravado. You have my word as a slimey three-toed alien probe specialist first class. He certainly will not be replacing me as your therapist.

He is by no means even remotely qualified to dispense the firm and at the same time very gentle probing operation which you have grown accustomed to having and loving. I don't have to tell you how important my extensive probe experience and know how are in this case. Would you feel secure knowing some probe-happy cowboy had his itchy finger on the probe trigger? Of course not. I will always be THERE for you, my pretty, so don't go getting your Twinkie in a titter. Dr. Schizander has never lost a patient or flubbed a probe.

 

Ripley as you see here, we have to types of aliens from two alien races. Both are trying there best to get us Earth woman to be probed by them. To have their alien babys.

After they have accomplished this mission then what will be in store for us? Will they toss us aside for another female that might come their way?

 

Why hello there.