About Alien Soup

You poor naive earth women. Aliens and Friends do not belong in the same sentence my dear. I am afraid a deus ex machina can not be disected, mutilated or physically harmed. It is not myself who I fear for Rosebunny. It is you and Ripley and all the young nubile earth women that these green demons wish to make into their private sex toys.

As far as being probed is that an offer you are extending to me? While it is not a condition for my help it is also not undesirous. I shall take the offer under advisement. :nod:

 

No human, let alone one as magniloquent, undersized, and egotistical as you, even comes close to being MY intellectual superior, you disputatious disseminator of innane drivel. Isn't it plain enough to you by now that these two free-spirited maxed out gold card carrying mallwalkers prefer an alien over a stubby gherkinfingerling like you?

They don't need rescuing or saving from the big bad aliens. They LIKE being abducted and probed. Just ask them. Go ahead. Ask Ripley how many broken down impotent human males she's had to contend with in her life thus far. Why do you think she spent her life savings on batteries anyway? Because she was always being SHORT changed in the cucumber department that's why. Why did she move to South Bend and buy a Dunkin Donut shop? To get away from her klutzy paranoid humanoid nitwit ex-husband that's why.

And why is Rosebud so enamoured with aliens as well? Because she knows a good thing when she sees it. I've been probing her brain with alien mind waves for several weeks now, and it's just a matter of time until she completely devotes herself to me, and there's really nothing you can do to stop her from becoming my permanent soulmate. She'll fit right in with all the others. You lose. Too bad. Let this be a lesson. Your pompous swaggering and flatulent (and mispelled) wordiness will get you nowhere fast here in Soupville.

What you meant to say was that you were banned from BACK THERE for getting too chummy with one or two of the neo-nutsy female admins, and now you want us to believe you just accidentally stumbled onto alien soup just in time to rescue these women from the evil clutches of Dr. Schizmo. Has it ever occurred to you that they may not want your kind of meddlesome meretricious interference?

The slimey green alien pickle is is never used to impale anyone. It's simply an inexpensive replacement for all those batteries. You defective crotch-centered human males always have your mind in the gutter. You consistently fail to see what's REALLY important to these lovely creatures don't you? I've wasted far too much time and energy dealing with your puerile insults. Ripley is on the probing table about to undergo her first mind probe, and if I were you, I would not try and intefere with a highly complex and very private personal procedure which does not concern you. May I suggest you go to the fun folder and play word games or something which is more in line with your limited abilities.

 

I am here rosebud. I have much to tell you.

 

Hello Sentinel. Please allow me to welcome you to Soupville. As you may have figured out by now some of the uncivilized anti-social humans here do not like aliens for any number of bogus reasons. That is to be expected anytime a vastly inferior species (human) comes in contact with a vastly superior one (aliens). Naturally there are exceptions to this rule and they are almost always female.

If you are a reasonably attractive female between the ages of 18 and 61, you might want to sign up for one of our weekend alien abduction getaways which includes being abducted from your home and taken aboard a genuine UFO where you will be subjected to simulated invasive medical procedures and extensive mind probing.

Forget all that negative stuff you've read about in the tabloids and seen on TV. Our probe operators know their business. Hope to see you around...providing you meet our high standards for potential abductees. Please ignore all insults from angry meddlesome male humanoids who have an axe to grind and some kind of chip on their shoulder. BTW, how do you feel about pickles?

 

Riteaim, I am sorry to call you my baby. I thought you were someone I knew. I am mistaken. Sentinel is my baby. Althought you two have simular writing techniques you can see how I was easily confused.

This is my objective. Since we are here in Alien Soup, this is the only place that is safe for all aliens. A safe harbor for aliens to speak their minds. I am not interested on being probed or pickled. My goal is to make sure that aliens have the same rights as us Earthlings.

Omg, I just thought of something. What if the goverment started this site to lure aliens here? No.....they wouldn't do that...would they?

 

Schizy....this table is cccccold! Why am I falling asleep??? :embarass: I....I .... I can't keep my eyes open.....SCHIZY...ROSE....RITE.....anyone.............

 

Ripley I don't know where Schizanders has you. Where are you? Schizander says he is a good alien. Use your senses Ripley, does Schizander seem like a good alien? Or do you think he belongs to that group of aliens who are just plain mean and nasty. If you feel scared just let me know and I will come to your aid Ripley.

 

It is perfectly fine to call me your *Baby* my sweet lil Rosebunny. I have no intention of probing you unless you insist but wish only to save you from the vile Alien intelopers that have infested your planet over the years. These entities are not your friends and have altered your brain to see them as harmless friends.

Please allow me to take you out for a night of fun and frolic where we can discuss how best to save both you and Ripley.

As for this Sentinel I believe he may be a Slimy green interloper with evil designs on your young nubile earth women body. I suggest you give him a wide berth as too the one called sniz.

I promise you I have nothing to do with the Goverment of this planet and my only agenda is to save humanity.

your baby,

RiteAim

 

Ripley get out of that room. Now!!!!!

Sniz has his pickle out..........

Oh the humanity!! :no:

 

Riteaim

You said to Schizander "They need to open their subconscious and purge the alien lies imbedded there by you and your kind. They need to allow me in. To show them their full potential as pimiparas of a new humanity."

Riteaim, Schizander would never do anything to harm the females who come here. Why would Schizander want to lie about his intentions? All he wants to do is to help Ripley with her mental condition. I on the other hand might just need this mental treatment as well. I really hate being pulled from one side to another. One person telling me to stay away from aliens, that they are no good and to listen to only them. On the other hand we have aliens who belong to this site who want to help us and in turn I want to help them.

You say that I have known you for many years. Some how that doesn't seem possible unless my memory was altered in some way. Maybe that is why I feel the way I do. Maybe I was working undercover and seen the terrible things that lurked in those dark tunnels deep underground. Maybe this is the reason I am here today. To help my alien friends from going back into that damp dark world of terror.

 

See what happens when you call a total stranger "baby"...next thing you know this riteaim fiend will be wanting to borrow your car and move into that spare room down the hall. Very few if any Human men can be trusted, Rose, but as you well know by now, nice handsome clean cut slimey alien guys like me can always be depended upon to consistently do the right thing and we usually don't want anything in return...except of course..yes....sometimes we want....that*, but not always.

Doesn't it seem a bit strange to you that this aggressive riteaim person suddenly shows up pretending he's on some kind of hokey save-the-earth-women-from-the-bad*ss-aliens mission? Who asked him to butt in and disrupt an otherwise perfectly wonderful alien abduction memory retrieval experience which btw was scheduled months ago by me?

And notice he is not the least bit concerned about the somewhat delicate psychological/neurological condition of poor innocent Ripley, who from all indications has been victimized by other humans who probably looked just like him. Which reminds me, I have to cut this short (this post, not the prickly probing pickle) and return to the cold lonely probe room and see what kind of horrible things these human thugs have done to Ripley when I was not around to probe...I mean...protect her.

How long have we known each other, Rose? A year....two years...three? In all that time you never once called me "baby". This could put a damper on our little weekend excursions up to Vermont and Maine in the UFO. I suspect this irksome and whiney riteaim character does not have a UFO...an old rusting worn out 1987 Volvo wagon maybe...the fall colors won't be near as nice through all that oil smoke and road film..plus you'll have to listen to his unceasing deluge of anti-alien banter.

I've scheduled you for a number 3 megaprobe bright and early on Monday. I should be finished with Ripley by then..not that she'll be in any condition to complain.....what with the mind-numbing anesthesia wearing off and her still being so groggy and all.

 

*See what happens when you call a total stranger "baby"...*

Yes I see exactly what you mean. I do need to be careful on who I call baby.

*Doesn't it seem a bit strange to you that this aggressive riteaim person suddenly shows up pretending he's on some kind of hokey save-the-earth-women-from-the-bad*ss-aliens mission? Who asked him to butt in and disrupt an otherwise perfectly wonderful alien abduction memory retrieval experience which btw was scheduled months ago by me?

I agree with you. We had just started to get the ball rolling around here, until two men showed up saying that Earth woman would be better off listening to them than to you. I just might have to make an appointment for that retrieval memory session, for the things this riteaim is saying about knowing him all my life, I just can not recall this memory. Maybe you can help me retrieve this memory.

*How long have we known each other, Rose? A year....two years...three? In all that time you never once called me "baby". This could put a damper on our little weekend excursions up to Vermont and Maine in the UFO.*

This couldn't be my alien friend who took off in his space ship vowing never to return. If this is indeed you then you would know that I have called you baby more than once in the years that we have known each other. That is if you are indeed this same alien.

 

ALiensoup is Like a giantmelting pot of species We have aliens duh,talking snowman,humans:blah:,Teddy bears,stars(from space),and others We all respect each other so deal withit or I'll Solar flash you and this time it WILL WORK.Still humans are wierd

 

.........wh wh where am I? Schizy, is that you? What....happened? Did you get any memories out of me? I can remember a light over my eyes. I couldn't see anything but the light. So bright and yellow. I feel like I've run a marathon. My thighs are wobbly and shakey. My arms are tingling. I don't feel afraid anymore! Schizy, I think you've done something good at least, even if I don't know what that is at the moment. I don't feel as paranoid as I did when I came in here.

I'm going to go home now, and try to figure out what has happened here. For now, I will say thank you Schizy. I may regret that later, but for now..... :cheek: :hug2:

 

Mr. Schizander your welcome is much appreciated. Do you not remember your old commander? I am pleased to find you well. I am not fully interfaced here yet. We will speak soon.

As for you Riteaid stay away from the earth women.

 

Also I can sew and knit :nod:

 

So another Alien invader. Sentinel the earth women are mine. The one called Rosebunny has even called me her baby. I am their protector so you and the good Doctor can pack up and leave. Now!

 

Sentinel you are an alien commander? Your real name wouldn't start with Z would it?

Riteaim, I do not need protection. I have dealt with aliens for two years. In all that time I needed help just once. This sinister alien who kidnapped my good friend and me were afraid for our lives. We didn't think we would ever be rescued, but we were, with a little help from our friends.

 

Sex toys? What kind of sexist nonsense is that? The truth of the matter is we superior advanced aliens simply have different physiological needs than you semi-evolved humans, and what with trying to live in such a harsh unfamilar inhospitable unalien environment (earth) and so, to insure that we remain consistently healthy and robust, it is an absolute necessity that we surround ourselves night and day with as many nubile, obedient, submissive, and intensely sensual human females as possible...and why is this so important you are probably asking yourself about now, and the answer is... the average alien brain needs lots and lots of alien testosterone in order to function at optimum level. Are you with me so far?

The alien brain works very similar to the way your brain works except for a few chemically diverse neurotransmitter activated receptors which have a tendency to....well, there isn't enough time and web space here in the soup to go into all the intricately complex and highly detailed inner workings of the alien brain...so I will make it short and sweet...whereas your brain needs plenty of oxygenated blood to function properly, ours needs slime...lots and lots of oozy sticky icky putrescent green slime and that slime has to be at least 9 times slicker than KY Jelly and have a certain amount of pre and post synaptic mobility.

So what's the problem then, right? It's your screwed up climate for one thing. It causes our slime to congeal, thicken, and lose the ability to leap across the old alien synaptic cleft, and I don't have to tell you what that means do I? Yep...it gets stuck in the cleft junction which means our ideas can't be completely thought through..unless unless we are sexually stimulated by one of your females, which releases great gobs of slime-thinning alien testosterone which in turn frees up the slime and the process gets back on track. It's really all about viscosity....your Harley wouldn't run very well on 20W50 would it? Well, neither do we.

So you see, all these uncalled for threats and scurrilious remarks that you've been spewing about how the big bad aliens are trying to molest your women with our bumpy green pickles is just plain old jealous neo-humanoid bullsh*t! I hope this little lesson in alien neurology helps reduce some of your misdirected animosity and causes you to strive to become a more tolerant human being....we can't all be perfect like you now can we?

 

I find it somewhat odd to be communicating with someone whose name is the same as the latest privacy invasion software being obtained by the FBI, and no, I do not recall being under your command. I do vaguely remember briefly being on board the rusting hulk of a piece of useless spacejunk which was once used in a 1970's Russian science fiction movie, and no, I do not wish to subscribe to your monthly newsletter about Hercules and the Amazon women.