Late bloomer finally leaving nest....

Discussion in 'Water Cooler' started by icephoenix, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. icephoenix

    icephoenix Regular Member

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    Ok so I am 31 years old and I decided this year that in Sept of 2014 I will be moving out on my own. This is a huge change in my life because I have always lived with my family and really haven't traveled anywhere by myself except Albany and I wasn't alone that time either. I went up with a friend to visit a friend.

    It was up in Albany that I decided that I had a deep desire to move out on my own and to start traveling on my own as well. It was amazing week at my friend's house I haven't seen her in a long time since she moved up to Albany to better her and her son's life. Which was bittersweet for me because I was totally for her to move to better her and her son's life but at the same time I was losing (to me) my best friend almost. I have known her for more than a decade and it was * tears * for me. Any hoo, being with her up there I decided I need to leave the nest and I have to move out of NY. I cannot afford to live on my own in this city. It is just too expensive for someone like me who has nothing saved and has only a part time job...(hence why I called myself a late bloomer. Actually I might be the sloth on this one.)

    Now between going up to Albany and the last vacation I went on last week...(aunt paid for ticket though I didn't want to go. Mother guilt tripped me into going *sighs... tears*) I decided I was going to start doing what I needed to do so that I can get out by the time frame I gave myself which of course was fall of 2014. I am starting to look for a full time job so that I can start to save up money, looking for cities where it won't cost me an arm and a leg to live in, cities that are safe for me and really isn't far away from some type of culture.

    There are many reasons why I call myself a late bloomer and not experiencing life is the main reason. I live in New York City... or I should say very, very close to it. I have not gone to many of the art museums, galleries, shows, tours or what New Yorkers call tourist attractions. Most people would say what are you waiting for? and my answer was always, "I don't have the money to go." The real reason... I was just too scared to go alone. Don't get me wrong I have gone to some places by myself but not the places I think are important for me to go to. Now I am 31 and I feel like I have been left behind or more I have held myself back from blooming into the person I need to be or can be.

    So here I am at 6:38 am in the kitchen on my laptop pouring out my guts and feelings to people I don't know on a forum. At the beginning of this year I started a bucket list of things I will be doing this year. One thing each month that was new and wild for me. I was doing good up until March. Jan was the No Pants Subway Ride in NYC. Feb. was the Chinese New Year parade in ChinaTown. In March it was suppose to be the Easter Day Parade and Bonnet Festival. I made a crochet hat with bunny ears which I did wear that day but was not able to go to the parade because my cousin came back from the navy and the family had a Easter party for him. April came along and I did nothing. Same thing for May (nothing) and in June all I did was go to Albany to hang out with my best friend for the week. July came along and also nothing. Here we are in August and I plan to go to the formal beach party that Improv Everywhere is having on Sat Aug 18. Yes, I will be wearing a formal dress to the beach and going into the water. I will also be taking pictures of this. I will post up pictures of this in the bucket list thread that I have on here as well.

    Wait... I totally got side tracked... the reason why I started this thread in the first place was to see if anyone had any ideas about where I could move to that was affordable, job friendly and cultural?? I will also be learning how to drive within the next year, so driving will be no problem. I would like to do things for the bucket list, for the months I have missed. All and Any suggestions or opinions are welcomed on anything that I have written about here. Critiques are also welcomed.

    Thank you for reading my spilled guts and feelings, forum friends.

    Beaming out,
    Late Bloomer from NY.
     
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  2. andyred

    andyred Regular Member

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    You are awesome, ive only known you for like 2 minutes but I need to put it out there lol.

    I would love to help you but I'm in the UK so I have no idea about NY or the surrounding areas.
    Kudos to you for getting through your bucket list though and venturing out to those events so far!
     
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  3. icephoenix

    icephoenix Regular Member

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    Thanks Andy!! Shoot if you know any where in the UK that is affordable and a place where I can get a job for any time in 2015... Let me know!! I would have to save up for a plane ticket after I move. Always wanted to go to the UK. Why not go and visit and decide to stay??
     
  4. Dan Hutter

    Dan Hutter aka Big Dan

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    I'm 29 and living at home. I've lived on my own (er.. with friends) a couple of times and am thinking about sharing a place with a friend in the near future.

    Sooner or later you just get tired of living with the family. Mom and her old fashioned ways cramp my style a lot of times. It's hard to have company over especially in the later evening. I have no where to entertain w/o disturbing mom except my bedroom and really what fun is sitting in somebody's bedroom?

    The best advice I can give you is when you think you have enough saved for an apartment, Stop and put away double that. There's always unexpected expenses or the possibility of loss of income. You want to have enough to keep yourself afloat for a few months just in case.

    If I were to move out today it'd cost me a good 2 or 3 grand considering rent, security, furniture (even cheap stuff), deposits for utilities (depending on where I move).
     
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  5. andyred

    andyred Regular Member

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    Hehe I will keep you updated!

    Yes, moving out is rubbish when you first start out, Loads of money on Deposits, Moving Costs, Furniture etc.

    Living at home was Ace with my parents, paying something like £200 a month to them. Now me and the Mrs have our own house and pay out around £1500 on rent, bills and food each month. It's a massive change!
     
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  6. icephoenix

    icephoenix Regular Member

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    I know off the back that I am going to have to save at least 4 or 5 grand in the bank or very close to that before I am to move out. If I have to push it back to spring of 2015 fine but I would like to leave in fall of next year. I was trying to move out of NYC because it is less expensive to live out of state but then I have to think about the jobs that will be around that area as well. The only experience I have is face to face customer experience. So I think it is a little harder to find work. I am trying to look for a job now and I'm just beating myself up about it. I know the next few months it is going to be hard for me but I am not going to stop now that I have made a decision. I am going to become a hermit crab just to save the money. lmfao!! thanks for all the advice you two.
     
  7. mscuban

    mscuban Regular Member

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    I am in California but really don't know where is best for you that costs less. Don't come here, that's for sure. I am working myself out of this forsaken state. I made the decision that I will be saving money to go to the mid-west. After much thought, Wisconsin is where I want to go. You probably need to head towards the mid-west as well for lower cost of living. When you first move, you may need to live with someone else. I got lucky. I got a job while living with a friend. I didn't move out until I was sure I had enough to cover the rent and deposit move-in. I have to tell you, being on my own; to truly live alone was the best thing I could have ever done. I began to feel so alive and know who I really am, and what I stand for. You are going to like it when you get there. I still appreciate my new lifestyle.
     
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  8. icephoenix

    icephoenix Regular Member

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    Thank you.... Thank you soooo much for that. I knew that it was going to be difficult for me once I go out on my own but the freedom to be able to run around naked or even sleep in my own bed would be heavenly.
     
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  9. mscuban

    mscuban Regular Member

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    LOL That is one of perks! I just didn't want to be the one to say it.
     
  10. Cerberus

    Cerberus Admin Talk Staff

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    Pfft.. Like any of us believe you do not already walk around naked.... :P
     
  11. Brandon

    Brandon Regular Member

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    I couldn't live with my parents again, or even a roommate.. I enjoy my freedom and the option to walk around in my shorts if I want.
    Not to mention dating, nothing like bringing a date home and having to be quiet as not to walk your roommates..lol
     
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