a strange friendship

i am an admin of a very small, friendly forum, our admin used to be admin on another, larger forum, but she fell out with another admin, who wanted to do what she wanted and not have to ask from the other admins opinion. she started a big arguement, splitting the forum in two, before creating her own forum, getting the members who agreed with her to join, before deleting everything from our forum and blaming hackers to eliminate the competition.

her group of friends took this argument to another forum, which is known for its lack of moderation, dominating the forum with talk of their private, secret forum that nobody is allowed in who they dont like, and starting flame wars.

after that forum split up and closed, me and my friends made our own forum, for the rest of the members who the other admin didnt like, who werent allowed onto the new forum and now had no forum to go to.

my friend, the owner of our forum, invited her real life friend to the forum, who knew nothing of the arguments that went on. this friend then joined the other forum that we all post on, through a link posted on our forum, and became friends with the admin of our rival forum. theyve become really close friends, added eachother on facebook, talk a lot about things. this friend hasnt logged onto our forum in days, and even if she does she rarely posts, but is on the other forum every day or on facebook talking with the other admin. they dont say anything in public, but i know they mention sending messages to eachother and stuff.

now, this admin, in a flame war involving a few members of her own forum, and one member of ours, implied that she had a spy in our forum-now is this friend the spy, or is she just lying. i know she wouldnt deliberately betray her best friend but what if she is accidentally telling this rival admin things that we say in the private sections of our forum or something.

and how do i approach this without sounding like im telling the members who they can and cant be friends with, and how do i tell my friend-theyve been best friends for years and i dont want to sound like im suspicious of her friend.

 

Without valid information it's all speculation. If you confront and are wrong you become the bad guy. Your best bet will probably be to make an announce. Let everyone know their is friendships between members of the same boards and you can respect that. However information between admins and moderators are confidential and as such any violation will result in being stripped of their priviledge. After all they have a responsibility to the communnity as well. If their friends from other boards are asking them to spy they are insecure and not very good friends.

 

Wow, that's a complicated mess of drama right there! I've never gone through anything like that so I'm afraid I wouldn't be of much help. I wish you all the best with the results of it though!

 

I think that my head just exploded